


Two Kinds of Destiny

by Xanthiae (Casstea)



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Character Study, Forgiveness, Grief, Kidnapping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-26
Updated: 2012-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-20 13:38:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4789256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Casstea/pseuds/Xanthiae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you're destined to destroy the universe, how can you not think yourself a monster?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Kinds of Destiny

**Author's Note:**

> First posted in 2012 under a title I can no longer remember.
> 
> Disclaimer: Don’t own Loki, the various quotes that are cited throughout this, the various references to popular culture (if you recognise it, I don’t own it), or the scene I’ve lifted straight out of the movie Thor. This is written for fun and not for profit.
> 
> WARNING: This fic has a lot of heavy themes it in (grief, loss, forgiveness, death etc) as well as some violence and swearing thrown in for good measure. It’s not explicitly graphic, just very emotionally charged.

_“I carry two kinds of destiny toward the day my death. Either,_

_if I stay here and fight beside the city of Trojans,_

_my return home is gone, but my glory shall be everlasting;_

_but if I return home to the beloved land of my fathers,_

_the excellence of my glory is gone, but there will be a long life_

_left for me, and my end in death will not come to me quickly.”_

(Achilles, _Iliad -_ Book 9, Homer)

xxXxx

It took Penny a few moments to remember what was going on.

_You cannot leave._

_You cannot call for help._

_You are my hostage._

“Fuck,” Penny said, putting her head in her hands, feeling the dried tears on her cheeks. Her head throbbed like she had just drunk an entire bottle of Jack Daniels in one, but there was no nauseating feeling that accompanied a hangover.

“You fucking idiot, Penelope Robinson,” she swore, hitting her head against the wall behind her. The room she sat in was sparse, a simple bed and a bedside table. There was a small chest of drawers which sat next to the door, with a stark white top and brown handles.

She knew that her brother would have had some stern words with her for using such language, but then it was because of her brother that she was here, in this room, a voluntary hostage of the one and only self-proclaimed Norse God of Mischief.

It had seemed like a bright idea at the time. A snapshot decision when the man called Loki had appeared in the café, demanding that one come as his hostage or he would collapse the building on them all. Volunteer as hostage and remind the bastard how he had broken her life apart.

“Smart idea Penelope,” Penny muttered to herself, “smart bloody idea.”

Normally, Penny didn’t swear much unless under extremely stressful situations. However, in her head, it seemed legitimate that being held hostage because ofa stupid mistake that _she_ had made, qualified for such a situation, and so she saw no problem in swearing like she was auditioning for a part in the next _Die Hard_ movie.

After volunteering for the position as hostage, Loki had transported her from aquaint London café to a room which was _god knows where_. After which, he had kindly reminded Penny of her position by terrifying the living daylights out of her, before disappearing in a _poof_ of green smoke.

Twelve hours later, Penny was still sitting in that same position, cowering behind the bed with her back in agony from her awkward sleeping posture. Peeking just above the mattress, Penny could make out a normal looking door on the other side of the room. She had spent most of yesterday staring at it, trying to summon up the courage to go and look to see what lay on the other side of it, before falling asleep in a pitiful heap on the floor.

Penny sat on the floor for a further ten minutes, continually eyeing the door to ensure that it hadn’t moved, warped or turned into some sort of void that made up the _Doctor Who_ title sequence.

“It’s a door,” Penny muttered to herself, as she stood up slowly, “no harm ever came from a door.”

She glanced upwards, noting the single skylight in the roof which allowed sunlight to spill into the room. There were no landmarks, nothing which she could try and work out her position from. Instead, there was endless blue sky which taunted her from above.

Penny’s stomach rumbled, reminding her that she hadn’t eaten anything in the past twenty four hours.

“Oh shut up,” Penny growled at her stomach as she staggered around the bed. The adrenaline and fear which had been coursing through her for the past twelve hours had exhausted her. She wasn’t some sort of action movie hero who could go for the entire film without eating a single thing.

“It’s just a door,” Penny said, as she inched closer towards the door, her hand reaching out towards the handle-

“Oh arse,” Penny swore again, bringing her hand down and staring at the door handle furiously.

 _I wouldn’t put it past Mr God of Evilness to coat the handle with some weird alien stuff that turns me into a bug_ , Penny though, walking towards the bed and pulling the pillow case off one of the pillows. Wrapping the material around her hand she walked back towards the door and placed her now-protected hand on the handle.

Nothing happened.

“Okay,” Penny said slowly, as she applied pressure to force the handle downwards. She heard the mechanism squeak as she did so – obviously it hadn’t been used a lot.

 _Click_.

The latch slid out of its casing, allowing the door to slowly swing outwards to reveal some cream carpeted stairs.

“I would not like to spill coffee on _this_ ,” Penny muttered to the carpet, as she unwrapped the pillow case from around her hand. Taking a few steps back from the doorway, she waved the pillow case through the doorway.

 _So no deadly killer lasers then_ , Penny thought smugly. Part one of Operation Really Need Food (Penny had yet to come up with a better name) was complete.

Eyeing the staircase warily, Penny slowly placed her weight on the first step. It seemed solid enough under her feet, but Penny didn’t want to take any chances. Quickly transferring her weight onto the foot on the first step, she tried to lightly step on the second.

 _Creak_.

In retrospect, it was stupid to think that a stair creaking was an indication of a death trap. However, at that moment, Penny didn’t consider _why_ she was terrified, only that she could get hit by some hypothetical projectile weapon hidden in the walls. Dispersing with her careful method, Penny took the stairs two at a time, leaping past the last three stairs to land firmly on the floor.

“I’m not dead,” Penny repeated to herself, as she gave the stairs an evil glare for frightening her. It took her a further few seconds to collect herself before she was able to look around what was the ground floor of the building.

It looked like an open plan chalet. There was a small sitting room area with a sofa and a television, next to which was a cabinet which was full of books at odd angles, obviously wedged in to try and maximise the storage space. About six or seven feet from the sofa area was a small kitchenette, complete with cooking hob, sideboard and white cupboards that lined the walls. Six skylights spilt sunlight into the room, illuminating the furniture with its bright rays.

“What in the name of all super evil killer villains is _this_?” Penny asked out loud, as she surveyed her surroundings. It was an understatement to say that Penny’s surroundings came as a surprise to her. After all, she was expecting grey concrete walls used in the typical hostage horror movie, not a four star chalet.

Expecting something to happen, Penny gripped the pillow case in her hand tightly as she worked her way around the sofa towards the television. It was certainly flash, and much more expensive than anything she could ever buy on her meagre salaries. It looked thinner than a piece of paper, standing on a thin glass stand that looked as delicate as a flower. Penny, whose flat was decorated with the bare minimum, emphasis on necessity as opposed to decoration, stared at the technology for a moment like it was made from gold. For all she knew, it probably cost more than Penny’s entire flat and its contents.

 _I wonder if it’s connected,_ Penny thought. Placing the pillow case between her hand and the _on_ button of the television, she pressed it firmly with bated breath. After all, she was still expecting to be turned into a slug or something similar.

The screen flickered to life.

 _“And now onto our main story_ ,” the reporter said on the screen. Startled by the voice, Penny jumped back, and almost hit the coffee table behind her. Her eyes widened in shock as a picture of her own face filled the screen.

_“Penelope Robinson, the twenty nine year old woman who was abducted one day ago by the villain known as Loki from a local café in Ricksworth, London, has still not been heard from. Officials are working with experts to try and find her location at the moment.”_

The picture on the screen changed to the head of the Metropolitan Police standing outside Scotland Yard in his uniform nodding to the cluster of microphones which were being thrust in his face.

“ _We are working with experts in the United States, who have dealt with this villain Loki before, as well as other experts from the United Nations and our European partners to try and track down Miss Robinson’s location.”_

 _“What about the reports that Robinson’s brother died in an attack by Loki?”_ one of the reporters cried from the rabble.

“ _We are-”_ the Inspector began, before Penny dived across and turned the TV off, her eyes filling up with tears. She staggered around the coffee table, before sitting heavily down on the sofa. Hunger forgotten, Penny let the sobs wrack her body.

“How dare they,” she cried at the blank television, “how fucking dare _you_!” 

Nobody knew about her brother, Danny’s, death five years ago. Obviously, there had been the legal documentation, then the inquest, and then the funeral. However, that had been it, and Penny had slowly drifted away from Danny’s old friends. If she shut her eyes, Penny could picture Danny’s gravestone, the new marble shinier than their parents’ gravestone which lay next to him.

 _How could they know_? Penny thought as she blinked away the tears, using the pillowcase to dry her face. Her brother’s death had hit Penny hard. She had never really dealt with grief on that scale before, as she had only been young when her parents had died. This time she was old to fully understand the finality of death, an experience that could only be felt fully when one went through such an experience. Penny’s life had been ripped out from under her feet in one fell swoop, leaving her in a dark abyss of grief and darkness. In those dark memories, her only companion had been the burning anger and hatred for the person who had killed her brother, the villain _Loki_. It had been his attack on New York, timed when Danny had been visiting for a physics conference. In that respect, the reporter was right – Danny’s death was the reason why Penny had stood up when Loki had demanded a hostage. She had seen a chance for revenge, a chance for closure for the pain she had felt over the years.

Well, that had been the plan, but hindsight was always a wonderful thing. Rash decisions had never worked out well for her, and the decision to be taken hostage by Loki was one of those bad decisions.

Her stomach rumbled again.

Sniffing back her tears, Penny pushed herself up from the sofa. Whilst she wanted to curl up in a ball and wish the world away, she needed food before something bad happened. That had been one lesson she had learnt over the years, when feelings fought to drown you, do something simple to keep yourself moving.

“Food,” Penny thought, “have food. Then I can mope later.”

Stumbling towards the kitchenette, Penny worked her way around the worktop towards the cupboards which lined the wall. Wrapping the pillow case back around her hand again, Penny picked a cupboard at random, wrenching it open.

“Fucking fantastic,” Penny swore at the empty cupboard, shutting the door again. She didn’t care what food was there, but she needed _something_. Preferably something including sugar.

Suddenly, the door of the cupboard burst open, and Penny was hit in the face by a river of sugar. It spilled out of the cupboard and onto the work-surface like a white waterfall, the small grains bouncing as they hit the granite worktop.

“Shit, shit, _shit_ ,” Penny said, as she forced the door shut again. The pressure on the other side of the door continued to build.

 _What, all I wanted was something including sugar,_ Penny thought, picturing the packet of biscuits she would normally buy from the shops.

The pressure on the cupboard door disappeared.

 _What?_ Penny thought, as she tentatively opened the door of the cupboard again to reveal a packet of biscuits which sat in the middle of the cupboard where the sugar had once been. Penny reached into the cupboard, stunned, and took out the packet of biscuits. It was the same packet of biscuits she had just thought of moment before.

“A telepathic cupboard,” Penny commented, staring at the packet of biscuits. To test her theory, she shut the cupboard door again and thought of the most random food item which would come into her mind – an aubergine.

 _Thump_.

Penny opened up the cupboard, and sure enough, there was one aubergine sitting in the middle of it.

“A telepathic food cupboard?” Penny repeated, putting the biscuits in the mound of sugar which still sat on the sideboard, as she took out the aubergine. Shutting the cupboard carefully, Penny tossed the aubergine up in the air, catching it as it fell back towards the ground.

“This is bloody weird,” Penny muttered, as she began to search through the other cupboards to see what was there. There was a collection of green mugs which sat next to a kettle, pots and pans, and a drawer full of deadly looking cooking knives which looked like somethingsomeone would use on a professional cooking show.

“This is too weird,” Penny said to the aubergine, as she placed iton the side. Absent mindedly, Penny considered trying to find a football and drawing a smiley face on it, a la Tom Hanks in the film _Cast Away_.

“No,” Penny said furiously to herself, “I’m not mad. I will _not_ go bloody mad.”

She glanced at the aubergine and packet of biscuits which sat in the mound of sugar on the side of the work surface. Penny shut her eyes to the absurdity of it all, the telepathic cupboard, the working television, the fact she was no longer free.

Face folding into determination, Penny grabbed the handle of the telepathic cupboard she thought of her food of choice. A _thunk_ later, she grabbed the pot of _Ben and Jerries’_ from the cupboard, before shutting it again and thinking of a drink. Pausing for a few seconds, she opened it again and took out the bottle of wine. Putting her two desired items on the side, Penny fumbled in a drawer for a corkscrew and a spoon.

“Well,” Penny said, as she pulled out the cork of the wine and took a large swig, “this probably won’t be good for me, but fuck it. Desperate times call for desperate measures.”

After all, her health was the last thing on her mind at that moment. Scooping up her ice cream and spoon, Penny made her way slowly over to the sofa. Penny’s thoughts were a bundle of emotions as she slumped down on the sofa.

She was a hostage to the person who was currently considered as the world’s most evil super villain, in a house which had a telepathic cupboard and working satellite TV. If Penny was a character from a movie, then she might use the TV signal and kitchen cutlery to build her own homing device to work out where she was.

 _But this is reality,_ Penny thought as she opened the top of the ice cream and scooped out a large quantity onto her spoon. She was no hero – she worked in a library during the week and a café at the weekends. Therefore, with no heroic qualification such as membership to a secret spy agency to help her plan an escape, Penny did the next best thing: eating ice cream whilst drowning her sorrows in wine.

xxXxx

_“You think you can just show up and tell me how to live my life? You don’t even know what I’ve been through.”_

(Simba, _Lion King_ )

xxXxx

A week had passed, and Penny saw no sight of her captor.

She had yet to fully test the boundaries of her confinement. Whilst Penny had investigated every inch of the house, finding a surprise ensuite bathroom leading off from the bedroom area, the door which led to the world outside the house lay untouched.

Her days had fallen into a loose routine – wake up, check the house to ensure Loki hadn’t appeared overnight and set up some death traps, find something new to entertain her during the day (she was currently reading her way through a collection of Norse Myths she had found in a cabinet), eat food, and then go to sleep in the evening.

Humming merrily to herself, Penny made herself some lunch before collapsing back onto the sofa and picking up the book of Norse Myths. They were quite interesting (although she doubted Loki really gave birth to a horse), especially since they said that Loki was in fact a Jötunn instead of an Asgardian. Well, half Jötunn anyway.

The skylights in the ceiling showed the sky to be a murky grey. There was a gentle tapping against the glass from the rain as it lightly fell from the sky. Penny had managed to kill a good few hours just watching the water droplets trickle down the glass. It was amazing really, as soon as Penny had nothing to do she was reminded of the tedium which her existence was currently in.

“What do you want?” Penny asked the picture of the mythological Loki which covered the page in front of her. He looked almost humorous, with a large nose and long extenuated chin which was framed by bright yellow hair which Penny guessed could be long enough to braid. However, the most amusing thing she found about Loki’s depiction was the knee high red boots. Whilst Penny knew that historical interpretation had to be taken into account, she couldn’t help imagine the current Loki who had kidnapped her in a Robin Hood-esque red hat and knee high red boots. Now _that_ was a funny image.

Penny had discounted the idea that Loki had wanted to use her for information. Firstly, Penny didn’t know any information that would be of any significance to a villain like Loki, and secondly if information had been Loki’s goal he would have probably concocted some sort of deadly torture method to get the information out of her. Instead, the most likely scenario was that Penny had guessed was that she was just a random hostage who would be used like a pawn in a chess game. She had no doubt that her life was probably being used by Loki to prevent the Avengers from attacking him.

Folding the corner of the page over to mark her place, Penny checked the plaster on her forefinger. Slicing her finger open with one of the kitchen knives had at least proved that she wasn’t in some sort of weird dream reality like in _Inception_. However, even though it had proved she was still in reality, it had hurt like _hell_.

 “I see you’re making yourself comfortable.”

Penny jumped out of her skin at the voice whispering in her ear, swearing violently. Scrambling off the sofa, knocking over her glass of orange juice as she went, Penny turned around to see the malicious smile of her captor, Loki.

He picked up the discarded book of Norse Myths from the floor, avoiding where the orange juice was slowly seeping into the carpet. Penny’s face paled as she inched away from the Asgardian towards the kitchen work surface, or more importantly the knife she had left _on_ the kitchen work surface.

“Does it read well?” Loki asked, gesturing to the book. Penny backed up further towards the counter, feeling its cool surface press into her back, anchoring her to reality.

“It’s all right,” Penny replied meekly.

Silence descended over the room, making the atmosphere thick and constricting.

 _I’m guessing this is what prey feels when it meets a predator,_ Penny thought to herself.

 “Are you scared of me, midgardian?” Loki asked, carefully placing the book down in a meticulous manner that reminded Penny of a serial killer character she had once seen in a horror movie. Gripping the side of the kitchen worktop tightly, Penny fought to keep her breathing even. She would _not_ show him that she was scared.

“No,” Penny replied, raising her chin in defiance.

“You _are_ scared,” Loki replied, his eyes lighting up in delight. Even though he wasn’t wearing his full Asgardian armour, he still oozed power and terror. Penny felt like a mouse caught in a trap, with a hungry lion looming over her with its teeth bared and jowls pulled back.

“I am not,” Penny replied again, gripping the work surface until her knuckles went white from the effort. Her legs were shaking of their own accord, even though Penny tried to force them to stillness.

 _He can probably read me like a book anyway_ , Penny thought, trying to keep her gaze away from Loki’s piercing one.

“Why _are_ you so terrified?” Loki questioned, a pretend mask of thoughtfulness covering his features, “after all I have not threatened you.”

“So why am I here then?” Penny pushed, her voice betraying her petrified state.

“Your presence here makes my position advantageous,” Loki replied cryptically, a small smile tugging at his blood red lips.

 _Pawn in a chess game then,_ Penny thought to herself.

“However,” Loki said, his voice becoming harder and a glint appearing in his eye, “I think we both know why you are here do we not?”

“You know nothing about me,” Penny shot back out of terror, as she felt out beside her for the knife on the work surface. She needed a weapon, she needed to defend herself, even if she didn’t know how to use it.

“Do not pretend to yourself that I do not know why you are here,” Loki said calmly, taking a step towards Penny as his smirk slid into a cruel smile, “you are here for _revenge_.” Loki sung the word out like it was a magical incantation, yet his honeyed words did not reflect the hard glare in his emerald eyes.

Penny didn’t answer; her vocal chordshad clammed up in terror. Her heart beat wildly in her chest as her hand became more frantic in its search for the knife. Penny was under no illusions that Loki was not only dangerous but _deadly._

“Here to achieve, what?” Loki intoned, gesturing dramatically like an actor, “Remind me of what I had done to ruin your pathetic life or something similar? What would that achieve?”

Penny’s hand slid around the handle of the knife as a tear of terror trickled down her face.

“You want revenge,” Loki hissed, his face folding up in anger, “you want to exact on me the same pain I _supposedly_ exacted on you.”

“You killed my brother,” Penny whispered angrily, trying to blink away her tears. Fury and frustration rose with her, causing her hands to shake violently.

“I did not kill him,” Loki sneered, “he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“I make that murder,” Penny spat in reply, her anger lacing into her voice, “his blood is on your hands and yet you have the _audacity_ to stand there and say he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time?”

“My hands have no blood on them,” Loki growled lowly in response, “After all, you do not mourn for the loss of an insect that is caught in the spider’s web. So it follows that I do mourn those whose blood you supposedly paint onto my hands.”

“How can you be so heartless?” Penny choked, her breath catching in her throat. She watched as Loki’s face contorted with fury at her accusation, his cold green eyes regarding her with disgust.

“Midgardians kill themselves in droves every day,” Loki hissed, pointing towards Penny, “millions of you die every day on this planet and you have the _audacity_ to say _I_ am heartless?” Loki’s voice was nearing that of a shout, filling the room with his accusations.

“And I am sure their families mourn,” Penny replied coldly, tears running down her face as she forced herself to keep Loki’s gaze, even though she wanted to cower in fear, “as I mourn for my brother.”

“Your brother died years ago, your pain is nothing more than a mask to cover your anger,” Loki replied flatly, batting away the comment like someone would swat away a fly.

“Time cannot heal all wounds, five years cannot make me just _stop_ feeling the _pain_ ,” Penny cried, wiping her face furiously with the back of her hand. Frustration boiled within her at Loki’s indifference to his crimes, his seemingly failure to connect to what Penny was trying to accuse him of. She had opened up the box of emotions which she had buried deep within her.

“The pain doesn’t just _fuck off_ like you seem to think it does,” Penny replied furiously. She was shaking now as the frustration boiled up within her.

“Oh I know pain,” Loki said quietly, his voice taking on a menacing quality as it grew quieter. Penny shrunk back in fear as Loki’s presence seemed to grow and fill the room, choking her with its oppressive force.

“I know pain that would make a mortal like you _weep_ ,” Loki continued, taking a step closer to Penny, eyes flashing with anger and pain that had accumulated over thousands of years, “I know what _true_ pain is little mortal, so dare not think that I know not what is true pain. This pain that you think is real? That is nothing, _nothing_ compared to what pain really is.”

Penny dug her nails into the palm of her hands as she shrunk back against the kitchen worktop, trying to get away from Loki’s intimidating glare. However, fear cemented her to the spot, and all she could see was anger and pain that was reflected in Loki’s emerald eyes. Penny recognised that look, the look of all-consuming hatred and anger which swallowed a person up, for she had worn that look for days after her brother’s death.

“What happened to you?” Penny asked quietly, her voice sounding like a mouse’s from terror.

“What?” Loki snapped, a flash of confusion washing over his face as he pulled himself back slightly from looming over Penny.

“What happened to you?” Penny repeated, a sympathetic tone lacing into her voice, “how can you think that losing someone you love isn’t painful at all?”

“You think me a monster?” Loki hissed.

“No I-” Penny started.

“You ask what happened to me,” Loki growled, closing the distance between then again until his forehead was almost touching hers, “you ask what caused me to be like this?”

Penny’s eyes widened in fear as she had realised her mistake, but it was too late, there was a crazed glare in Loki’s eyes which said that he could not be stopped.

“How can you not call me a monster?” Loki continued, his face looming over hers. Penny didn’t dare breathe as he whispered into her ear;

“How can I not be a monster whenI feel pain that _burns_ through the fibres of my being? The pain which sinks its talons into my heart and _tears_ it open to leave only tendons and muscles in a pool of thick blood?”

A silence descended between the two of them as Loki pulled back a little, his eyes tracking Penny’s face, looking for the tiny traces of emotion that lay beneath every muscle twitch. All she could see was the terrifying _green_ of his wild eyes, feeling naked under their piercing gaze.

“I’m still alive,” Penny replied meekly, blinking as terrified tears slid down her face.

“I am sure that can be changed,” Loki whispered in reply, a cunning smile sliding across his face.

Penny reacted on instinct, her fear and anger melding into one as she gripped the knife on the worktop and slashed it towards Loki-

Yet the God of Mischief was faster. In one swift movement, he stepped backwards as his hand wrapped itself around Penny’s wrist, changing the course of the knife’s trajectory towards her own shoulder.

 _Pain_.

It was all consuming as soon as soon as the knife bit into her skin. Penny gasped for breath, looking at the knife in shock, before back to Loki’s face which was contortioned in fury. She knew he didn’t miss, he knew what points on the body would cause death with a single stab better than she.

Loki stepped away, taking the knife with him. Penny felt herself go dizzy as another shock of pain passed through her shoulder as the blade was wrenched free. Her hands grappled at the top of the cool granite worktop behind her as her knees buckled underneath her, sending her plummeting towards the carpet.

“Am I now a monster?” Loki growled, bending down to stare directly into her eyes. Penny’s face crumpled as her brain tried to deal with the conflicting feelings that were coursing through her.

 _He’s going to kill more people_ , she thought through the haze of pain which clouded her judgement, _just like me. He thinks he’s a monster and he’s going to cause more destruction just to prove it._

Penny’s hand shifted to try and put pressure over the wound, as she tried not to feel sick at the liquid feeling that she felt when she pressed downwards. It bloody _hurt_ like no pain Penny had ever felt before. Any emotional pain she had felt over her brother’s death paled to this, this immediate red hot agony that felt like someone had lit her blood on fire.

 _I’m not a fucking hero_ , Penny thought, looking back up at Loki who was still holding the bloodied knife in hand. She didn’t’ even react when the demigod’s face twisted into a snarl.

 _“AM I?”_ Loki roared at Penny, making her jump out of her coma of agony. Fear filled her again as she realised just _who_ she was looking at, her other hand trying to push herself back against the kitchen cabinet in an attempt to escape. Yet she couldn’t get away, there was no escape. Just the red hot pain and the snarling face of Loki looming above her like a wolf who was about to move in for the kill.

 _I’m going to die,_ Penny thought, another bout of pain causing her to moan as she pressed her hand against the wound.

_What would Danny do?_

The thought passed through her faint mind as Penny felt her mind go light.

“You’re no monster,” she whispered, trying to focus on Loki’s face. Maybe it was the pain, maybe it was desperation, but she felt her terror melt away as she decided on her course of action. Taking her hand off the wound, she gripped the front of Loki’s jacket and pulled him towards her, forcing herself to keep eye contact in order to drive her point home. Penny’s mind screamed in anguish when the pressure disappeared from the wound, causing her words slur as she tried to speak.

“You are _not_ a monster,” Penny stuttered, fearful tears filling her eyes, as she felt darkness creep in from the edges of her vision.

That’s what Danny would have done, he would have forgiven him. He would have tried to stop the demigod from causing any more destruction to others by making his last words _count._

 _I hope you’re proud Danny_ , Penny thought, as she leant back against the kitchen counter, shutting her eyes. The blackness was comforting, but her mind burned with the agony radiating from her shoulder. Then, the pain began to slowly disappear as Penny slipped further into unconsciousness, until all thoughts simply stopped.

xxXxx

_“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”_

(Dumbledore, _Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets,_ JK Rowling)

xxXxx

Ironically, the most irritating thing Penny found about Loki was that he was never around.

She muttered curse words under her breath as she slowly undid the bandage around her shoulder. It was three days since Loki had stabbed her in the shoulder, and the wound still ached. Peeling back the final layer of the bandage, Penny winced as she saw the red skin which outlined the thin scar, the only remainder of the wound. She had no idea what Loki had healed the wound with, but whatever it was he hadn’t healed it completely.

 _Probably to be a pain_ , Penny thought, dropping the bandage on the side of the dresser and picking up the first bottle of lotion, tipping some of it onto her hand. Bracing herself, she placed the lotion on the scar, trying to rub it in as gently as possible. The burning sensation radiated from her shoulder, making Penny have to bite her lip as she continued to rub the lotion in.

That was why Penny was annoyed with Loki. He had stabbed her in the shoulder, healed her with magics yet unknown to either her or Earth, and left the most patronising instructions regarding the treatment of her new-found wound.

 _Stupid idiotic villain_ , Penny scowled, picking up a fresh piece of bandage and hung it over her shoulder before slowly wrapping it in place. On the first day she had tried to replace the bandage, it had taken her a good few hours. However, Loki had also left a delightful description of the possible infections Penny would get if she _didn’t_ change the bandage once a day, and the thought of her skin falling off (she still believed that was an exaggeration on Loki’s part) had driven her onwards.

Bandage in place, Penny placed her hand on the drawer handle, mentally picturing the clothes she wanted to wear, only taking her hand off it when she heard a definite _thump_. Opening the drawer, she picked out her attire (trackies and a hoodie, after all it wasn’t as if she was going to attend a gala ball later that day), kicking it shut again with her foot.

It had come as a surprise that the technology found in the Telepathic Food Cupboard had extended to the other cupboards in the house/hotel/building she was living in. The cupboards in her room could be commanded to provide a certain type of clothing, those in the small bathroom for any toiletries. Even the television that she had been so amazed with on her first day could show whatever program she wanted just by _thinking_ at it.

 _It’s all a bit convenient_ , Penny considered as she carefully pulled her hoodie over her injured shoulder, wincing as the scar tugged against the movement. However, Penny was not that interested in how convenient everything was for her. Instead she was merely thankful that her life wasn’t made any worse.

 _Huh, like being held hostage is bad_ , Penny mused as she walked out of the bedroom and shutting the door firmly behind her. She had given up testing all the doors and handles for any possible trap when she hadn’t woken up dead from being stabbed in the shoulder by Loki. Penny’s view was that if Loki was going to kill her he would have left her to bleed to death on the carpet.

She made her way cautiously down the stairs, not wanting to jar her shoulder with any sudden movement. Even with the magic healing that Loki had done it was still stiff and the instructions Loki had left had made it very clear not to place stress on it.

“On,” Penny shouted across the room at the television, waving her hand dramatically. After one very tedious afternoon two days previously, Penny had decided to test what the telepathic television could actually do. She didn’t actually need the hand movement, but like when walking through automatic doors, the temptation to pretend to be a Jedi using the Force was too great.

The television flickered to life, playing the news (which seemed to be its default channel). Penny grabbed a mug out of the cupboard, whilst clicking the kettle on with her elbow. The television continued to babble happily in the background. Penny was slightly disappointed how her abduction had been pushed back to the ‘ongoing’ news section. Apparently a celebrity breakup and the discovery of an ancient Viking settlement in Scotland were more important news items than her continuing imprisonment by the God of Mischief.

“Music,” she shouted at the general direction of the television. The television switched over to a generic music channel, which was at that moment playing Britney Spears.

“Oh whatever,” Penny sighed, as she poured the boiling water into the mug and threw a tea bag into the cup, mashing it down with a tea spoon. The instructions on the back of the packet said to leave it for two minutes, but Penny needed caffeine _now_. It was like oxygen, and if she hadn’t had at least three cups by lunchtime then karma would bring swift justice in the form of a headache.

The song changed from Britney Spears to the band _Five_.

“90’s day or what?” Penny questioned, mashing the tea bag in her mug in time with the music. Leaving her tea for a moment, she placed two slices of toast in the toaster (which for some reason could not be controlled telepathically) and turning it on. Glancing behind her to ensure Loki hadn’t appeared silently during her breakfast routine, Penny nodded her head to the beat of the music before trying to do the typical disco moves that would be scorned on in any modern day music establishment.

“Big fish, little fish,” Penny said, as she went through the move, “cardboard AHHHH!”

Her hand went to her bad shoulder as it burned painfully. Apparently ‘dancing’ was included in the stressful activities which would hurt her shoulder.

“Stupid Loki,” Penny muttered, massaging her shoulder as the pain ebbed away, “first he kidnaps me, then he stabs me, and now I can’t dance.”

Face set in a firm scowl, Penny swiped her tea from the counter, taking a long gulp from the mug. Sighing as she felt the liquid warm her up, Penny walked over to the toaster to grab her two slices of toast before applying liberal amounts of jam on both slices. Balancing the plate of toast on top of her mug, Penny walked over to the television, grabbing one of the books from the shelf and sat happily on the sofa. She tried to ignore the dark stain on the carpet where she had been stabbed by Loki, however Penny still felt the involuntary shiver run up her spine when she recalled that memory.

“News,” Penny said at the television. The screen flickered from the _Five_ song to the news which had the words _BREAKING NEWS_ scrolling along the bottom of the ticker tape. Penny paused mid-bite in shock as the news reporter began speaking.

_“And now we return to our main news story, that America has been attacked by extra-terrestrial beings. Experts say they are cousins to the beings who invaded along with the super villain Loki nearly five years ago, and authorities are instigating evacuations of the affected areas.”_

The picture switched to a camera shot of burning buildings and flying spaceships. Smoke rose high into the air whilst the sound of gunshots rang out down below.

 _“The United Kingdom Government have raised the threat level to severe this afternoon in an announcement by the Prime Minister,”_ the news reporter continued. The shot cut to the face of the PM standing outside number 10 Downing Street.

“ _We have planned for occasions such as this,”_ the PM said, flashes from the paparazzi cameras covering his face, _“however there shall be no task force sent to our American allies yet as no force has been requested. I am in the utmost confidence that America will be able to control and contain this attack and the United Kingdom stands beside her as she attempts to do so.”_

The PM finished, walking back into Downing Street, followed by a chorus of voices from the news editors. The shot cut back to the news reporter in the studio.

_“And here in the studio we have Professor Frank Spriggs who is Professor of Psychology at London Metropolitan University. Professor-”_

“Off!” Penny commanded at the television. Silence descended over the chalet, before Penny broke it by eating her toast.

 _No more destruction_ , Penny thought, sighing. Some people might consider it immoral for her to pretend that she lived in her own little world at that moment, a world where there was no destruction or evil.

“Well sue me then,” Penny muttered to herself, as she turned to Loki’s page in the imaginatively titled book, _The Norse Myths_. She had been pondering about what Loki had meant when he had asked her if he was a monster. There had been an agonising wildness in his eyes when he had said those words, as if he was desperate for someone to recognise the meaning behind them.

 _Well he’s still an arsehole_ , Penny thought as she took another swig of her tea. Whatever issues he might have, that didn’t exactly remove his responsibility for trying to take over the world, killing her brother and stabbing her in the shoulder. She hadn’t forgiven Loki for anything, but Penny did think she hated him slightly less. It was more like burning embers that wild forest fire on the metaphorical anger scale.

 _I suppose that’s what happens when someone doesn’t let you die in front of them_ , Penny mused to herself, shutting the book again and resting her head on the back of the sofa. The windows in the vaulted ceiling showed a murky sky, painted in various shades of grey. She guessed it was late afternoon, her body clock having gone completely out of sync with the rising and setting of the sun.

Penny glanced towards the door which she assumed led to the outside world. There was a pair of walking shoes sitting next to the door which she had conjured from one of the telepathic cupboards the other day. A mixture of boredom and determination was beginning to urge her to look outside, to see where she was.

To run away.

However, the fear of Loki kept her back. He may have saved her life, but the memory of the terrifying gaze and the knife slicing her skin kept her from making an action. It was like an invisible collar, holding her back from her inquisitive investigations.

Rubbing her shoulder idly, Penny pushed herself upright, swinging her legs off the sofa and onto the carpet.

 _Man up_ , Penny told herself, putting the book to one side and standing up. However, instead of going towards the door, she walked towards the kitchen area, or more specifically the tea towel which lay discarded on the work surface.

 _I don’t want my hand eaten off by some weird alien spell after all_ , Penny thought, picking up the tea towel and wrapping it around her hand.

There was a crash behind her.

Penny turned around, startled. Her eyes widened as Loki collapsed to the floor, clutching his side in agony, letting out a howl of pain as he hit the floor.

Holding her tea-towel tightly, fearing that Loki could be trying to lead her into a trap, she edged around the kitchen counter, gasping in shock as she saw the long splinter of _something_ that was sticking out of Loki’s side.

“Fuck,” Penny said, as she collapsed to the floor. Loki wheezed, as he tried to place pressure on the wound with his blood stricken hands.

 _I could leave him_.

The thought passed through Penny’s mind like a leaf on the wind. She had no reason to keep him alive, if anything she had more reason to watch him die. There would be no more death after him, no more destruction; no one else’s brothers would die because of him.

 _But he didn’t let you die did he?_ a small voice reminded her. If he was evil, if he was truly the evil psychopath Penny had painted him to be over the five years after her brother’s death then Loki would have left her to bleed to death on the floor after stabbing her.

He wasn’t totally evil, and that meant he had some good left inside him. A chance to change maybe, to pay penance for the actions he had wrought on the world.

“Help,” Loki whispered, looking pleadingly at Penny. He looked so broken, a mere shadow of his usual proud and arrogant self. Blood was matted in his hair and crusted across his face. He had a split lip that split his white face like a crack in a glass pane.

 _He could be faking it,_ Penny thought, _leading me into a trap_.

She shut her eyes momentarily. Was she really willing to take that risk? If she was wrong, if he wasn’t faking his pain for once then she would send a helpless man to his death. Who was she to decide whether someone lived or died?

“You’re one lucky bastard,” Penny muttered angrily, opening her eyes. A flash of anger sped across Loki’s face, as Penny’s face paled as she realised her choice of words. Loki, however, did not even have the energy to lose his temper over the comment as he squeezed his eyes shut in pain.

“What do I do?” Penny asked, trying to apply pressure on the wound with her tea towel. The splinter that was sticking out of Loki’s side was almost iridescent, changing colour as Penny moved her line of sight whilst adjusting the towel. The wound on a human would have probably killed them instantly. However, luckily for Penny, Frost Giants seemed to be much more resilient to pieces of alien stuff wedged in the side of their abdomen.

Loki howled again in agony, arching his head back in pain. It was then Penny noticed that his skin had a slight blue hue to it, the colour creeping around his neck and down under his armour like a stalking predator.

“I hope that the smurf colouring isn’t an allergic reaction or something,” Penny said, changing the tea towel again. She tried not to consider the colour her hands were beginning to turn, or the feeling of blood on her skin. She still had nightmares about Loki stabbing her, the feeling of steel piercing skin and the blood running down her neck.

“Take it out,” Loki hissed between clenched teeth.

Penny stuttered in shock, her breathing becoming shallower and shallower with every heartbeat. She was no doctor, her total medicinal knowledge came from a first aid day she had attended with the Girl Guides when she had been fifteen. Even then, all the instructions had been along the lines of ‘deal with it until the ambulance arrives to save the day’.

“Please,” Loki begged.

There was no ambulance this time, not whatever _here_ was; the middle of freaking nowhere in a chalet with no name and a dying demigod bleeding on the carpet.

Wiping away her tears of fear with her elbow, Penny took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. She didn’t know much about medicine, but she had watched enough action movies to know that pulling at the splinter from an odd angle would put Loki in extreme pain. She might not be feeling emotions of unbounding joy for the demigod, but she wasn’t malicious.

Angling herself so she was directly above the splinter, Penny placed her hands mere centimetres away from the splinter. It undulated slightly with every shallow breath Loki took, the light refracting off it into its constituent colours, merging with one another to pass through every colour of the rainbow.

Penny looked down towards Loki’s face. He was blue now, an ice blue with blood red eyes. Ridges swirled across his forehead, forming intricate patterns across his skin. So very alien, yet the pleading gaze from the red eyes was so very, very human.

Loki nodded once.

Penny pulled.

The splinter came away easily. Without a thought, Penny threw it across the room with as much vigour as she could muster. There was a tinker of china and glass which indicated that it had connected with an ornament, but that was not her concern at the moment. Loki grunted, his face set in a determined scowl as he tried to bite back a scream.

Penny worked methodically, trying to keep her breathing even as panic battled to consume her. Grabbing Loki’s hand, she placed it on top of the now reddened tea towel on the wound, pressing it down to try and tell the demigod to keep the pressure on the wound. Then she dashed across to the telepathic food cupboard, visualising a stack of towels, bandages, and a first aid kit. Penny had never tried to get multiple items out of the cupboard before, but she was desperate and pressured. Shoulder twisting painfully as she wrenched the door open, Penny grabbed the towels and bandages that tumbled out on top of her. The pure white cotton was marked with the red blood as she scrambled to keep all of the towels and bandages in her arms.

 _Get your arse into gear Penny_ , she told herself, as she skidded back next to Loki again. Skipping all the routine procedures involving sterilised bandages and plastic gloves, Penny gently took Loki’s hand off the wound, removing the bloody tea towel and placing the new towel over the wound.

 “We need to get your armour off,” Penny said, glancing towards Loki’s agonised face, “I’m guessing you can’t do any magic mumbo jumbo to remove it?”

Suddenly, Loki grabbed onto Penny’s wrist with his bloodied hand, gripping it tightly.

 _I cannot speak for it is too hard, Midgardian,_ Loki’s voice intoned in her head as he glared at her with his red eyes.

“Fucking hell!” Penny exclaimed, jumping backwards in shock, “you’re a telepath?”

Loki growled in response, whether in pain or frustration at Penny’s surprise, keeping his hand around her wrist like a vice, constricting her blood flow.

 _I shall answer your questions later Midgardian,_ Loki continued inside Penny’s mind _, but I ask a favour of you._

“What?” Penny asked, “and the name is Penny, or Penelope if you prefer, not ‘Midgardian’ like I’m from some fucking Shakespeare play.”

 _I cannot use my magic on myself in this state Penelope, Son of Robin,_ Loki said inside her mind, training his red eyes on Penny. Penny’s mouth twitched into a small smile at the use of her name. Maybe the God of Mischief _could_ listen after all.

Or maybe he was desperate.

“If you haven’t noticed, I’m not a wizard,” Penny said, holding the towel down on the wound with her other hand whilst she tried look for the buckles on Loki’s armour. However, the stupid demigod seemed to be dressed in clothing that was more akin to a straightjacket with the number of complex buckles on it.

“It’s not like you could have kept me in the middle of a city,” Penny muttered to herself in an attempt to keep herself calm, ever conscious of the pressure around her wrist from Loki’s hand, “but _no_ we are in the middle of fucking nowhere with no ambulance and you’re bleeding into the bloody carpet.”

She paused in her search, glancing back towards Loki who was now looking at the ceiling, eyes shut in concentration.

 _Please_ , Loki’s voice said inside her mind. Penny didn’t jump this time, it was almost like she couldn’t be shocked any more. There was a quota for how much weird shit could happen in a person’s life and Penny was already at the limit.

Loki’s grip on her hand relaxed as he began to lose strength.

“Go for it,” Penny said, grabbing his blue hand within hers tightly, going against all better judgement and logic.

It felt like a truck had hit her, knocking her a good few feet sideways. Penny swore under her breath as she picked herself back up, turning to look at Loki-

Penny, or _another_ Penny was still there, patching up Loki’s side with more expertise than Penny herself could ever do. Her hands, or the Other Penny’s hands, swiftly undid the armour around Loki’s side, pulling it back to reveal tattered under armour which was soaked with blood.

“What?” Penny asked, as she crept forward, to poke the Other Penny in the shoulder. However, Penny’s hand simply went _through_ the Other Penny’s shoulder instead of poking her.

 _So I’m having an out of body experience?_ Penny thought to herself, _fucking fantastic._

Penny crouched down next to the Other Penny, watching in fascination as a golden nimbus surrounded Loki’s wound. The Other Penny began to mutter something incoherent under her breath, waving her hands in a complex pattern that screamed ‘ _weird magic shit is occurring_ ’.

“Loki?” Penny asked the Other Penny, glancing at the other’s face. The Other Penny was totally concentrating on what she was doing, however a small smile answered Penny’s question in the affirmative.

“You’ve taken over my body?” Penny stuttered in shock “no don’t answer, I know you’re busy saving yourself using my body like something out of _Alien-_

Penny was cut off mid speech as the world twisted and turned around her, blurring into a multitude of colours. Then she was falling downwards like a pebble skipping its way down a hill, her head spinning as fast as the colours around her, disorientating her-

 _Boom_.

Penny hit the ground hard, kicking up the snow around her. The cold shocked her system, biting her fingers and cheeks with its invisible hands.

“W..What?” Penny spat as she wiped the snow of her face. She pushed herself up to a sitting positing, whilst trying to knock the snow from out of her hair.

She was in a room, a _cold_ room. It felt like she had been thrown into a freezer, albeit a freezer stocked with less ice cream. There was a blue hue to the air from the cold, shimmering just above the frozen surface of the floor. Penny’s breath coalesced in front of her in a white mist before dispersing into the chilly atmosphere.

“I fear your mind has been addled with idiocy,”

Penny’s head snapped around to look up at the owner of the voice. She almost screamed in shock, scrambling backwards as a man with _huge_ biceps stared down at her with ice blue eyes, holding out a hand that looked like it could crush her skull with ease.

“What?” Penny replied, blinking at the huge man. Shaking her head to try and clear her senses, she recalled seeing the figure in the book of Norse Myths. Obviously this was the mighty Thor, God of Thunder, but from what Penny saw he might as well be God of Bisceps as well.

Penny scrambled up onto her feet. However, Thor’s gaze did not follow her, instead it was kept on the spot she had just vacated. Penny followed the God of Thunder’s gaze, gasping as she saw the person lying on the floor.

“If my brains are addled then I dread to think of the state of yours, brother,” Loki replied, grabbing Thor’s hand and being allowed to be pulled upright.

“I thought you dead,” Thor said quietly, grabbing onto Loki’s shoulder and holding the other’s gaze.

“Excuse me,” Penny said, scrambling to her feet also, “what is going on? Loki? Where am I?”

However, neither of the brothers seemed to hear Penny’s questions, continuing as if she wasn’t there.

“If you put as much faith in my magic as you do your precious hammer then you would not think that,” Loki joked back, patting Thor on the shoulder.

“Is the room surrounded?” Loki continued, “or do we have to tidy up the remains of your grand entrance?”

“I did not fell them all, brother,” Thor said, “Sif and the Warriors Three wait our return.”

Loki’s expression darkened at the name of Sif and the other Warriors. From what Penny had read in her books on Norse Mythology, Loki was not held in high regard in society because his physique did not match the Asgardian ideal of masculinity.

“In such a case,” Loki said, gesturing with his hand and summoning a dagger into his hand, “we must not delay any longer.”

“Fine, fuck off all you want,” Penny swore, becoming irate. First she tried to save a stupid dying demigod and now she was stuck in some sort of alien dreamworld where no one could see her.

 _Well,_ Penny thought dryly to herself, _it puts the status of ‘being a voluntary hostage to the God of Mischief’ into perspective._

The two brothers walked out of the cell, or what Penny _assumed_ was a cell. As they walked out of the door, she could sense a strong camaraderie between the two of them. Maybe it was her close relationship with her sibling which told her that, but by anyone’s standards, this was _not_ the Loki who had tried to invade Earth whilst demanding glory and power.

“Fine,” Penny said to the empty cell, striding out towards the corridor, “If you’re not going to answer me, I’ll just have to follow you- oh _fuck_.”

Penny had to place a steadying hand against the wall next to her, covering her mouth with her other hand to stop her from throwing up. The corridor was littered with bodies of guards, who were lying on the floor in pools of deep red, the colour highlighted against the cold blue floor.

 _This isn’t real,_ Penny told herself, closing her eyes to the chaos as she repeated the words like a mantra, _this is just a dream._

The world fell from beneath her feet.

Penny screamed as she fell through an abyss like a feather on the wind. Shutting her eyes so she wouldn’t feet so disorientated, Penny tried to focus on the fact that this was a _dream_ , nothing could hurt her-

She crashed into a solid floor with a force which should have killed her. Penny shook from shock as she raised her head to see where she was.

A marble floor stretched out in front of her, cold under her skin. To the sides, great pillars rose up from beneath the walkway, arching overhead to support the dark blue ceiling above. If she squinted, Penny could see intricate carvings etched into the rock, written in a language that she didn’t understand.

 _“You took me for a purpose, what was it?”_ a voice hissed from the end of the room.

Penny shook her head to clear her vision. At the end of the walkway were a set of gold stairs that rose up to an impressive doorway which she guessed was about ten feet tall minimum. However, it was the figure on the stairs, not the doorway which garnered her attention.

Dressed head to toe in rich clothes, and wearing an ornate golden eyepatch there was no doubt in Penny’s mind as to who he was.

 _Odin_ , Penny thought in shock, slowly walking forward towards the stairs.

“ _TELL ME!”_

It was then that Penny noticed the shaking green cloak belonging to Loki at the bottom of the stairs. Penny walked the remaining distance to the bottom of the steps, knowing that neither of the Asgardians could see her.

 _It’s just a dream_ , Penny thought to herself.

“I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day,” Odin sighed, sounding sad, “bring about a permanent alliance – through you.”

Loki’s face broke at that moment, the truth of his existence ripping his life from underneath him.

“But those plans no longer matter,” Odin said slowly.

Loki’s face folded in anger at the comment, eyes glazing over with his pain and rage.

“So I am no more than another stolen relic?” Loki spat back, his hands curling into fists, “Locked up here until you might have use of me?”

Penny looked back and forth between father and son, tears welling up in her eyes. The atmosphere was thick with tension as the two powerful warriors locked gazes with each other.

“Why do you twist my words?” Odin asked, shaking his head.

“You could have told me from the beginning,” Loki spat, his anger taking over his speech, “Why didn’t you?”

A tear trickled down Penny’s cheek. Loki was so hurt, so emotionally broken and it hurt her to look at him like that. The Loki she knew, the Loki who had kidnapped her, was bold, brash, and proud. This Loki looked like he had nothing to live for, a Loki who hated himself and his existence in the world. No one, not even Loki, deserved to look like that.

“You are my son. My blood,” Odin began, “I wanted only to protect you from the truth-”

That was the wrong thing to say, Penny knew it.

“Because I am the monster parents tell their children about at night?” Loki interrupted, his voice becoming louder as he shook from rage.

“Don’t,” Odin begged.

“It _all_ makes sense now,” Loki spat, his voice sounding disgusted, “Why you favoured Thor all these years.”

“Listen,” Odin whispered.

“Because no matter how much you _claim_ to ‘love’ me,” Loki continued, his speech picking up tempo along with his rage, “you could _never_ have a Frost Giant sitting on the throne of Asgard!”

Odin staggered backwards with the shock of the accusation.

“Listen to me!” Odin begged to Loki. However, Loki was not listening, his face set in grim determination and anger, striding past his farther and up the stairs.

Penny blinked as tears fell down her face. This was where it had started, where Loki had begun on his path to attacking earth.

The corners of her vision began to darken as Odin collapsed on the stairs. Penny didn’t scream this time, she knew what was coming. Loki dashed down the stairs again towards his fallen father, screaming _GUARDS_ , as he went. However, Penny was not able to see what happened next, as she fell backwards into the void again.

The first thing Penny realised when she hit the ground was the smell of burning petrol. It filled her nostrils with its unique scent, muddying her scrambled thoughts as she tried to work out where she was. She looked up, pushing herself off the floor to study where she had landed.

The world burned around her.

Flames of red and orange licked into the air through smashed window panes and twisted metal. Screams echoed off the burning buildings as people ran around her, ducking the incoming fire from the alien spaceships that flew above like hawks.

 _The attack on New York_ , Penny thought. She shut her eyes for a moment, wishing with all of her heart that she wasn’t going to witness the event that had ripped her life apart.

Penny walked forwards slowly, not caring as debris flew past her. They left flaming trails behind them in the air, which were then whipped upwards in the vortex as another alien crashed into a nearby building. Penny knew that she could not interact with the world around her, and it could not interact with her either. She was in no danger here, it was just a dream.

But it felt so real.

The searing heat from the burning tarmac beneath Penny shimmered in the air before her, making everything seem like it was a magician’s illusion. However, the smell of the petrol along with the raw scent of blood and fear told Penny that whatever she was in, this supposed _dream_ , had happened. It felt more solid than a dream for the boundaries of reality were not bent as they were in a dream.

A memory.

Ash fell from the sky, burning remnants of broken buildings and people falling to the ground like a grey snow, taking with it the hopes and dreams of those caught up in the fervour of battle and instead replacing it with fear and death.

Then Penny saw him.

Out of all the people who were lying still as statutes on the ground around her, Penny recognised her brother. Leaning against a car, shirt dyed red with blood, he looked up at the sky with a hazed expression.

Loki was standing over him.

Something broke within Penny at that moment. Dream, memory, whatever non-reality she was currently in did not mean that she couldn’t respond to the events around her. Screaming out in defiance, she ran towards her brother, jumping over the rubble that was strewn across the street. The screams of the other people who were running away seemed louder now, like a white noise which wouldn’t go away, but instead of being merely irritating it filled every corner of Penny’s conscience like salt applied to an open wound.

“NO!” Penny screamed, throat raw from the heat and smoke she was inhaling. She didn’t understand the mechanics of the plane she was currently in, but with every passing heartbeat it felt more real.

“Are you here to kill me alien?” Danny choked at Loki. Loki did not answer, instead he regarded Penny’s brother like one would an insect, interesting but of no consequence to the higher order of things.

“Because sadly I don’t think you’ll get the honour,” Danny continued, his hand shifting against his wound, trying to prevent the blood from escaping, “one of your alien buddies already has that.”

“I _hate_ you,” Penny hissed towards Loki. She knew it was futile, she knew he couldn’t her but she did it anyway.

Kneeling down next to her brother, she tried to reach out to touch him, yet her hand simply fell _through_ him. She was only an onlooker, not a participant.

“It’ll be alright Danny,” she whispered through her tears, “it’ll be alright.”

Explosions continued around her, but Penny didn’t notice them. Time seemed to slow to almost a standstill as she cried next to her brother. She could hear his laboured breaths as he fought to stay alive.

“You are brave, Midgardian,” Loki said, crouching down in front of Danny, placing his weight on his sceptre that stood tall into the sky, “I will give you that.”

“This world is not yours,” Danny whispered, spitting blood out of his mouth.

“No Danny,” Penny pleaded, putting her head into her knees as sobs wracked her body, “Danny-”

“I owe you my life, Midgardian,” Loki said slowly.

“What,” Penny gasped, looking around at Loki with shock. However, Loki’s face did not give anything away, he was as still as a statute. Yet it would have to be true, there was no other reason for it. Loki did not strike Penny as one who admitted a fault or reliance on others.

“Well,” Danny coughed, “I doubt nobody likes being knifed in the back by an alien.”

“In Asgard that gives us a debt to repay,” Loki said slowly.

Danny paused for a moment, coughing weakly, before looking Loki directly in the eye with an apologetic look on his face.

“Can you save me?” he asked quietly.

Loki shook his head.

“You _liar_ ,” Penny growled, as she threw herself towards Loki. However, it was in vain, as she merely went _through_ the demigod, hitting the ground on the other side.

“You fucking _liar_ ,” Penny screamed into Loki’s face, trying to hit him with her ghostly arms. She screamed in frustration, trying to pick up something to throw at Loki, to vent her rage. The reason she was in this dream-world place was _because_ Loki was saving himself, using her own _goddam body_ like a vessel for his magic.

“You could have saved him,” Penny cried, falling down next to her brother.

“My sister,” Danny said. Penny’s head shot up as she watched Danny reach around his neck and pulled off his ID tags that hung there. The two small pieces of plastic were supposed to be safer than a normal ID badge, although Penny never understood how they worked. They had both joked how silly Danny would look with them, like he was a soldier or something as opposed going to a Physics conference as a guest speaker.

“Give them to her,” Danny asked, holding the tags out towards Loki, “please.”

The ID tags had never been found with Danny’s body, it had been one thing that had broken Penny’s already cracked heart further when the authorities had told her the news.

Loki plucked the tags out of the air, nodding once towards Danny in acceptance.

“Thank you,” Danny sighed.

“No, no, _no_ ,” Penny cried, as her brother laid back his head onto the rubble behind him, shutting his eyes to the destruction around him.

“Please don’t go, Danny,” Penny whispered, as she curled up next to her brother, “please don’t go.”

Danny begun to cough harder now; the sound making Penny sick with both grief and horror.

“Please don’t leave me, Danny,” Penny whispered quietly.

Loki bent down on the other side of Danny, his face a mask to any emotion he was feeling. The demigod reached out with a hand, hovering it above Danny’s head, pale fingers extended.

“Go in peace,” Loki said quietly, shutting his eyes. A golden nimbus surrounded his hand, cascading downwards like a damp mist onto Danny’s convulsing body. As soon as the light touched Danny, he seemed to relax and the pained expression on his face disappeared until his eyes looked up into nothingness.

“Danny,” Penny cried, trying to reach out to her brother. However, she felt the familiar sensation of falling again, but this time she did not struggle.

 _Thump_.

Penny felt the carpet underneath her hands first, the pile sticky and wet with blood. Then she felt the pain of her shoulder, which had not troubled her in the dream world she had been in.

She was in reality again.

Taking a few deeps breaths, Penny shut her eyes as she tried to keep control of her emotions. However, her body simply could not cope with the stress that it had been put under. Looking up slowly, she saw Loki had propped himself up against the side of the settee, still bloodied and torn, but very much alive.

Blood. The red on the floor of the corridor she had stepped out on, dark against the pale blue ice floor.

Pain. The rejection of Loki, how he had been alone. Her brother begging for his life and Loki refusing to help.

Death. Danny shutting his eyes against the rubble as the smell of burning petrol and metal filled the air.

“I think I’m going to throw up,” Penny said simply.

With that, she ran to the bathroom, taking the stairs two at a time. She hated being sick, she hated the blood on her hands, the memories that spun around and around in her mind like a film on repeat. She knew her body was going into shock, as she ran into the bathroom and threw up violently in the toilet.

Penny’s knees buckled on the bathroom floor, as she pushed herself away from the toilet, resting her head against the cold tiles behind her head. Penny grimaced at the bitter taste in her mouth as she curled up into a ball, shutting her eyes to the world around her, remembering the last moments of her brother’s life play out in front of her eyes again, and again, and again.

It was only then that she felt a cold hand press a glass into her hand. Penny looked up to see Loki’s blue face looking down on her, forcing the glass into her hand.

“Drink,” he said, giving the glass to her. Penny wiped away the tears around her eyes furiously, her feelings conflicted and confused. She didn’t know whether to hate the man before her or thank him. He hadn’t killed her brother, not directly, but he _had_ killed him by trying to invade Earth, by refusing to save her brother’s life. He had stabbed Penny in the shoulder, taken over her body so he could heal his, and now he was giving her fucking _water_ like he was some sort of mind reader.

“Thanks,” Penny said, gulping down the water quickly. She couldn’t say anything else, not really. It was as if her mind was on autopilot, just functioning on routine and muscle memory.

She glanced up to where Loki had been, but instead saw nothing but empty space.

 _What the fuck has my life become_? Penny asked herself as she rested her head against the cold tiles behind her. The man she hated for being evil wasn’t necessarily evil. She had saved his goddam life and he had almost killed her but saved her anyway.  It was like Loki didn’t want her to make an opinion on him, every time Penny _thought_ she had him figured out, he would go and do something stupid like stab her in the shoulder or give her a glass of water.

“Inconsiderate fucker,” Penny swore, bringing her knees up and resting her head forward on them. He had left her only with her thoughts for company, and her thoughts were dark at that moment. It felt like everything she knew, everything she had lived by was a lie. Now Penny simply existed, breathing in and out, heart beating out a steady tune beneath her skin.

Dum de dum. Dum de dum. Dum de dum.

The blackness of sleep quickly claimed her.

xxXxx

_“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”_

(Mahatma Ghandi)

xxXxx

When Penny woke, she was still lying on the floor in the bathroom. Her head was spinning violently as she tried to focus on the world around her, hands slipping on the tiles from where her glass of water had been knocked over.

Blood, grief, death.

Then the hatred, the burning anger that she had kindled for five years began to emerge again. Loki had killed her brother; he had looked down on Danny and watched him die.

Penny slowly picked herself up from the floor, grabbing onto the sink for support. She looked in the mirror, almost not recognising the woman with messed up brown hair and blotchy red eyes which stared back at her. It was as if Penny had reverted back to her state she had been in just after her brother had died, the lost and confused woman who had no direction in life apart from the anger against Loki.

Her hand methodically turned the tap, letting the cold water splash into the sink basin. The pipes creaked and groaned as the water ran, but Penny took no notice of it. Splashing the cold water onto her face, Penny relished the biting sensation that tingled across her skin from the chilling water, letting the droplets trickle down her neck and soak into her shirt beneath.

She tried to comb her hair into some semblance of order, but it was no use. Throwing the comb down in frustration, Penny pulled her hair back into a tight ponytail, ignoring the small parts that stuck up at odd angle from the side of her head.

It wasn’t as if she was trying to impress anyone anyway.

It didn’t take long to change her top, even with her bad shoulder protesting at every movement. She changed her bandage quickly, focussing intently on every action in an attempt to make her brain forget the memories which hummed away in the back of her mind. The skylight was dark above her, she had slept through most of the day and now evening was drawing in.

Blood, grief, death.

Tucking in the bandage, Penny took out another T-shirt and hoodie. This one was decorated with a complex design involving the date 1976 in various different fonts. Penny winced as she tried to work her arm into the sleeve, trying not to agonise her shoulder too much.

Face set in a determined scowl, Penny slowly made her way towards the door of the bedroom, hand running against the wall for balance. Her head still was not feeling right, even though her vision had cleared. She battled with the door handle for a moment, but finally managed to pull it open successfully.

Sighing, Penny slowly made her way down the stairs, taking each step at a time. Her legs felt weak beneath her, although with every step she seemed to regain a little bit of strength. It was less a physical weakness and more a mental one, the emotional stress Penny had been placed under had started to take its toll.

She didn’t expect to see Loki at the bottom of the stairs.

Shock and anger snapped her out of her reverie, as she stumbled back from where Loki was standing, next to the sofa. The images of Loki standing over her brother flashed across her mind, his refusal to help her brother. The destruction of New York, the smell of burning petrol and tarmac, and the echoes of the explosions all ran across her mind’s eye to leave her only with her innate hatred for the demigod.

“Get the _fuck_ away from me,” Penny growled, hands pushing her up the wall as she tried to regain balance.

Blood, grief, death.

The words continued to spin around her mind as Penny shook with anger and hatred. Loki stood in front of her, eyes widened slightly with shock at the accusation. He looked slightly paler than usual, a side effect of his injury. However, for a man who had been bleeding into the carpet not the other day, he had made a miraculous recovery.

“You let him die,” Penny said slowly, her nails digging into the sides of her palms as her anger bubbled forth, “you said you couldn’t save him and you let him _die_.”

“I could not-” Loki began.

“Bull-fucking-shit,” Penny interrupted, snarling. Loki gaped in shock, obviously he didn’t expect to be interrupted by a mere _Midgardian_.

“You said that you couldn’t save him,” Penny hissed in rage, shaking with frustration, “you looked down on a dying man and told him that you couldn’t _fucking_ save him. And yet for _some reason_ , you were able to do some magic fucking mumbo jumbo to save yourself?”

“I saved your life,” Loki replied simply, raising his chin in defiance, “I could not save his.”

“And that makes it fucking alright then?” Penny screamed back, her voice horse, “save my life and suddenly _everything is all fucking right_? Which fucking book did you learn that from?”

“I could kill you now without even lifting a finger,” Loki threatened, his brow creasing in anger. It was like watching a cornered animal lash out because it had nowhere else to run to. Both Penny and Loki were on edge, the former from their anger and the latter from their injury.

“What?” Penny replied angrily, not caring about Loki’s threat, “so you can have the whole _fucking_ Robinson set? Have another line in your tally of ‘people I’ve fucked one over on’?”

“You are treading a very thin line Midgardian,” Loki warned, taking a step closer to Penny. However, Penny was not scared. She didn’t even care what Loki might do, after all she had already been _stabbed_ by the guy, it wasn’t as if he could do worse.

“Oh believe me little Midgardian,” Loki whispered theatrically, in time with Penny’s thoughts “there can be much worse.”

“So you’re reading my mind now?” Penny asked, walking towards Loki and stopping mere centimetres away from his face. Pulling up every feeling she had ever felt towards the demigod, the hate and the rage, the disgust and betrayal, Penny mentally pushed it towards Loki. She knew it had worked when Loki grabbed her wrists tightly like vices, a low growl emitting from this throat. It was a warning that she was treading on thin ice, _very_ thin ice.

“I will kill you slowly,” Loki whispered into her ear in an attempt to terrify her. However, fear was not one of the emotions Penny had room to feel, so instead she stared definitely up into Loki’s eyes, matching the cold green gaze with her own burning brown one.

“You think you’re a monster because you’re some blue fucking ice popsicle,” Penny hissed, ripping her hands free from Loki’s grasp and taking a step backwards, “but you could be every colour under the fucking rainbow and not be as inhuman as to watch someone _die_ in front of you when you could have saved their life.”

Penny took a deep breath as Loki watched her tirade silently. She was crying hard now, tears running down her cheeks as she gasped for air. It came almost as a surprise to Penny that she _could_ cry, after all the emotional turmoil the last twenty four hours had been. Her shoulder burned from where she had ripped her arm away from Loki’s grasp, a constant reminder of what the demigod was capable of, a warning to her muddled thoughts of not to step too far over the line.

However, Penny was never one for listening to warnings.

“Let me tell you something, _Loki,_ ” Penny hissed, turning around and storming towards the door which led to the outside world, wrenching it open violently. Later, it would occur to her how easy the door was to open, but at that particular second, the thought could not cross her emotion filled mind. The cold evening air from the outside blew inside the chalet; acting almost like a cleansing balm to Penny’s angered thoughts. Calmness settled over Penny, as she picked up the shoes she had left next to the door a few days before. Turning around, Penny looked directly at the demigod’s blank façade, almost taunting him with her determination, before growling;

“You can threaten me all you fucking want Loki but that won’t change the one simple fact that you can’t look in the mirror without _hating_ yourself.”

And with that Penny slammed the door on the house that had been her world for nearly two weeks, and ran.

Penny didn’t pause to look at the scenery around her, or notice the incline of the hill she was running up. The gravel path beneath her feet bit into the soles of her feet, her socks providing her no protecting against their sharp edges. However, Penny took the pain to mean that she was still moving, still alive. The pain told her that she was in _this_ world, the real world.

Her chest burned from the exertion, as Penny stumbled to her knees. The gravel cut into her hands as she tried to steady her fall.

“Why do I try, Danny?” Penny asked, looking towards the sky. Penny curled her hands, taking up the gravel within her palm and allowing the sharp stones to bite into her skin. Tears fell down her cheeks as Penny was lost in her own muddled thoughts.

“I don’t want to avenge you, Danny,” she cried, putting her forehead to the ground. She felt a cold water drop hit the back of her head, followed by another, and then another.

The heavens had opened.

“I’m sorry, Danny,” Penny whispered, as she reached out and pulled the shoes which had fallen to the ground near her. The rain grew heavier as she slipped her dirty feet into them, tying the shoes up forcefully as if doing so would release her anger. However, it was no use, Penny still felt the knot of confusing emotions sitting in her stomach. Her hatred for Loki mixed with her disgust at the mental images that played across her mind, the broken Loki who had been lied to all his life in front of his father, the tags, and the smell of burning petrol.

Pushing herself upright, Penny pulled her hood over her head in an attempt to protect her from the rain. However, it was incessant; falling from the sky like someone had opened the heavens of all of their water. It sunk into her clothing, weighing her down as she continued to march along the gravel path beneath her, arms tucked close to her body for warmth.

The darkness was lonely as Penny walked, only having the dim starlight which shone through the clouds to guide her way. In the shadows she could see the shapes of a forest rolling out beneath her like a leafy ocean, their tall stature silhouetted against the darker shadows which lay within. Strange bird calls filled the air, echoing off the trees below her, making Penny clutch at her hoodie with fear.

She was very, very alone.

The rain continued to soak her clothing, as the gravel path ran out and gave way to grassy mud. The earth squelched under her feet as Penny continued to walk, with no destination in mind. Squinting her eyes, she could see that she was on top of a hill, which seemed to fall away into the forest of trees below. On either side, tall earthen mounds rose up into the skyline, their jagged tops looking like teeth against the cloudy sky – the sides of a valley.

“I’m sorry, Danny,” Penny whispered, as she collapsed to the ground, shivering from the cold and sorrow which overcame her. It was the realisation that she had spent the last five years chasing an ideal, revenge for Danny’s death, only to realise that she could never achieve it. Her anger had been built on a foundation of hatred that hadn’t been rational. Yes, Loki was bad, he had killed and he had a wild glint in his eye when he had done so. However, the broken Loki that Penny had seen in the crypts of Asgard was one who had no direction, no road to follow. She knew what that felt like, the world dropping out from underneath her when the officials had come to tell her about Danny. It was a fact that could not be wished away, however hard Penny tried.

Penny had no idea how long she sat, curled up on top of the hill with the rain falling around her like the fallen tears of gods. She replayed her course words that she had screamed at Loki over in her mind, wincing at their acidity and vulgarity. Her anger had made her almost as bad as Loki, striking at his core, using information that was not hers to use.

The rain stopped suddenly.

Penny blinked in shock, still shivering. Her hoodie was soaked through, and the cold night air was starting to bite at her skin. Someone sat down next to her silently, not saying anything to her.

The rain continued to hammer down on top of the magical shell which surrounded them both, but neither of them spoke to one another. Penny’s teeth chattering broke the silence as she pulled her wet hoodie around her shoulders. Her bad shoulder still protested against the movement, but warmth was more the priority at that moment.

Penny glanced towards Loki. His black hair was stuck against the back of his next, dripping wet also. He was focused on something in the distance, his face folded in concentration.

The silence continued until it was almost unbearable. Penny took in a deep breath, trying to steady her chattering teeth.

“Sorry,”

The word escaped Penny’s lips like a whisper, but it filled the silent void between the two of them like she had shouted it at the top of her lungs. Loki’s blinked, momentarily confused, glancing towards Penny’s shivering form.

“For you know,” Penny continued, her voice getting a little stronger, “swearing at you and all. Nobody really deserves to be sworn at that badly.”

Loki’s mouth twitched up into a smile.

“You are too kind Penelope Robinson,” Loki replied calmly, “although I think an apology from myself is in order.”

“What?”

“For threatening you,”

“Oh,” Penny sighed.

Silence fell again, the tapping of the raindrops on the magic bubble sounding like fingers impatiently tapping against a desk.

“There was nothing I could have done to save your brother,” Loki said quietly, “you must understand that.”

“But you-” Penny started. Loki held his hand up, interrupting her.

“There are some advantages to my parentage, one of those being able to survive wounds for longer,” he continued, “Your brother’s wounds were too severe for my magics to heal them.”

“And there was me thinking magic could solve everything,” Penny said, dropping her forehead onto her knees, shutting her eyes to the conflicting feelings inside her. One moment she wanted to throw Loki of a cliff, the other part of her reasoning that Loki wasn’t evil, simply misunderstood.

“I have something for you,” Loki said quietly. Penny looked up to see Loki holding out a pair of plastic dog tags which had belonged to Danny.

Penny took them from Loki, turning them over in her hands. It hurt her that all of her brother’s life work could be summed up in those two tiny discs of plastic.

“He was a physicist,” Penny said, wiping away a tear with the corner of her drenched hoodie, “an astrophysicist to be precise. He was guest speaking at a conference in New York when you attacked.”

Loki didn’t say anything, just looked at Penny with an unreadable expression covering his face.

“Why did you do it?” Penny asked, holding the tags tightly in her hand.

“What?” Loki asked.

“Attack Earth.”

Penny looked, _really_ looked at Loki, worried that she had overstepped the uneasy truce which lay between them.

“Look sorry,” Penny begun, “that was-”

“No,” Loki interrupted, “your question was just… blunt. Midgardians such as yourselves have a habit of stating the obvious.”

“Really?” Penny replied, surprised, “you haven’t watched any reality TV. Those people could bullshit for Britain.”

Loki smirked at the comment. The rain above begun to lessen slowly as the clouds were blown away by the wind to reveal the patchwork of stars which lay in the night sky. Penny’s teeth chattered loudly as she tried to warm up.

Then, suddenly, her clothes were dry again.

She blinked, poking the now dry material with her finger as if to test it was real, before looking back at Loki who wore a mischievous smile on his lips.

“I doubt your Midgardian body would have the ability to fight off the cold much longer,” he explained, “that magic at least I can do.”

“Thanks,” Penny said, brushing a hair out of her eye, “but I still don’t understand why you couldn’t do your bubble thing earlier. You’re drenched to the bone.”

“Rain does not affect me so, Penelope Robinson,” Loki continued, “and I do believe you are interrupting my explanation.”

“Well you were the one who did the magic tumble dryer thing,” Penny argued, smiling a little as she noticed Loki’s raised eyebrow, “look, I’m shutting up now!”

“You have to try to understand that I am not of this world,” Loki begun, waving his hand theatrically to banish the shield now that the rain had dissipated. Penny felt the cold night breeze tugging at her wet hair. Danny’s dog tags bit into her skin as she clung onto them tightly like a lifeline.

“Midgard has always been a place of war,” Loki explained, “where you people would go to war over minor disputes, with leaders directing others to their deaths due to a personal slight that another had made. It seemed that the notion of freedom was used as an excuse to invade others, as one individual’s definition of freedom was placed on top of another’s. I merely sought to bring equality, where every Midgardian would be subject to the same rules and so would be united together under my rule.”

Penny didn’t say anything, although she wanted to scream how ridiculous Loki’s argument was, how he had failed to realise that his aim to unite the Midgardians had done just that, but _against_ him instead of _with_ him. It was as if the demigod did not understand he wasn’t the hero this time.

“Our parents died when we were young,” Penny said, slipping the dog tags over her head, feeling them settle against her chest, “I was only about eight years old at the time. Danny looked after me, he was nineteen and has a promising offer to study Physics at a prestigious university but he rejected it to care for me and took a part time degree elsewhere. People said he wouldn’t be able to get far in the field, after all he had given up his only chance to look after me.

“But he proved them all wrong you see. He never gave up, not once. Not when people gave us snide looks or talked about his appropriateness to care for me. As I grew older I was able to look after myself more and he was able to live his life again. That physics conference he went to was supposed to be his big break into the field.”

Penny paused in her recollection, turning Danny’s tags over in her hand. Engraved into the plastic was a barcode that could be read to reveal the person’s identity. Apparently it prevented fraudulent people from entering, but Penny had no idea how.

“He sounded like a good man,” Loki said quietly.

The thread of conversation fell again, blowing away on the evening breeze like a feather. Penny rubbed her thumb over the barcode on the dog tags thoughtfully, lost in memories.

“Have you ever considered destiny?” Loki asked, turning to look directly at Penny with his piercing green gaze. Penny was taken aback, not really quite sure how to react to the change of topic.

“Um,” Penny stuttered, “you mean like the whole pre-determinism, ‘your path is already written for you’ stuff?”

“Indeed I do,” Loki replied, inclining his head slightly.

“No really,” Penny said, “I believe in choosing my own fate.”

“Destiny does exist,” Loki said, shifting his weight slightly, “or at least it does for some of us.”

“So what’s your destiny then?”

“Destroy the universe,”

“Well that’s enough to ruin anyone’s day,”

Loki smirked at Penny’s comment, raising his hands in an apologetic gesture.

“I am chaos,” Loki explained, “my existence in the world is to remove the order, to increase _disorder_.”

“So essentially you’re path in life is to increase the entropy of the universe?” Penny questioned.

Loki looked blankly at her.

“Sorry,” Penny apologised, “it’s a nerdy chemistry joke I learnt from Danny. Entropy is where a system wants to become more disordered and so undergoes reactions to achieve that. It’s like ice melting in water – the ice is ordered as a solid but wants to become more disordered and so melts to water. Or something like that, Danny used the expression to explain why my room would always get so messy by itself.”

“I suppose you could consider it like that,” Loki commented, “I simply have no control over the chaos I cause because of who I am.”

“The ice doesn’t have much of a chance either,” Penny replied, “second law of thermodynamics and all. Disprove that, and the universe is _really_ screwed.”

“I’ll consider it on my agenda,” Loki smiled in reply.

“So you’re not responsible for the chaos you cause,” Penny summarised, her eyebrows folding in concentration, “because it’s in your nature to cause chaos. Like if you blamed a cat for being a cat then that wouldn’t be fair because it’s not its fault it’s a cat. Well, unless you believe in rebirth and the whole wheel of life thing, in which case then it could be your fault you’re a cat because karma, as they say, can be a bitch.”

“I retract my earlier statement about Midgardian’s ability to be concise,” Loki said, raising an eyebrow at Penny’s ramblings.

“Well that’s just hurtful,” Penny said, rubbing the two dog tags together thoughtfully.

“What happens if you don’t cause the chaos?” she asked.

“In what sense?”

“If you’re job is to create chaos,” Penny said, “and you refused to do your job, then you’re not doing what you’re supposed to be doing right? And so the lack of order increases disorder, and so chaos is caused anyway.”

“I do not see where you are trying to lead this conversation Penelope,” Loki asked.

“It’s a long winded way of asking why you have to be the bad guy,” Penny explained, dropping the dog tags inside her hoodie to put her cold hands inside the pockets of the clothing.

Loki was silent at Penny’s question, intentionally not meeting her gaze as he wrung his hands.

“I suppose I could ask you why your brother’s death still affects you so,” Loki replied, glancing towards Penny with a stern gaze. Penny pursed her lips, knowing that Loki had got to the heart of the matter.

Stupid demigod.

“I suppose not all of us are made out to be heroes,” Penny replied slowly, picking a blade of grass and twirling it between her fingers, “and sometimes anger is easier to hold onto.”

“It is easier to continue down a path of anger than to turn back on it,” Loki sighed, looking slightly remorseful.

“You think that I can’t?” Penny questioned quickly.

“I think that you do not understand the means to turn around,”

“I do,”

“What is it then?”

“I don’t look at you and immediately think that you’re a mass murdering arsehole who kidnaps people,” Penny said shortly, her feathers ruffled, “but the fact that I can’t forgive you doesn’t give you reason to be a the bad guy.”

“You’re trying to turn the focus back onto me again,” Loki said.

“You guessed?”

“My years provide me with a certain level of intuition for these things.”

“Well I think you’ve forgotten what it even means to live a normal life,” Penny muttered, “you and your godly ways.”

“What do you mean by such an accusation?” Loki pushed, the tone of his voice lowering slightly.

“Cynicism,” Penny answered, shrugging, “I mean if I was wandering about for a few hundred years, my perspective on the world would chance a bit.”

“I am more than a few hundred years old, Midgardian,” Loki corrected.

“And you’re looking so youthful,” Penny replied dryly, “I would have never have known.”

“Why do I feel a suspicion that you wish to make me into something I am not?” Loki asked.

“What?”

“You try and show a light to the shadows in my life,” Loki continued, “in order to confront your own shadows.”

“Translation?”

“I do believe you are implying that I do not understand the notion of forgiveness?” Loki replied, “you consider me to be as heartless as a _draugr.”_

“Well I can hardly make a comparison as I have no idea what the flying heck a _draugr_ is,” Penny said shortly, hunching her shoulder’s over at Loki’s comment.

“It is a spirit of the undead,” Loki explained, “one who delights in suffering yet does not have an emotional connection to the world around it.”

“I’m going to say ‘no comment’ before you stab me with a magically conjured dagger of doom,” Penny rebutted.

“I assure you,” Loki said, with a wicked smile, “your death would not inconvenience me.”

“Well it would inconvenience _me_ ,” Penny replied, “so I would rather mind you keep the violence to a minimum.”

Loki smirked, amused. The demigod looked thoughtfully at the sky, his eyes scanning the stars as if their intricate pattern would reveal some deep secret that he did not yet know.

“Has it occurred to you,” Loki said, keeping his eyes on the stars above, “that it is because I understand what forgiveness means I choose to turn my back on it?”

Penny didn’t reply immediately, making Loki take his gaze away from the heavens above and back to her small form, her legs drawn close to her chest with her head balancing on top of her knees.

“No,” Penny whispered, shaking her head. She gave an apologetic smile towards Loki, before wrapping her arms further around her legs.

“My brother,” Loki continued, “asks me to go to Asgard, that he has forgiven my past misdeeds. However, in all his glorious wisdom he fails to forget that the others do not forgive as easily as he, for they are too bound in their codes of honour and chivalry to recognise that to not follow those codes does not make an individual evil.”

“But I think there is a difference between not following some honourific codes and trying to invade a planet,” Penny argued.

“Depending on your perspective,” Loki replied, “they are one and the same thing. If you consider someone your enemy, then invading them under the pretence of honour is considered fine. Yet if _you_ are the considered enemy, suddenly you can no longer be seen as the honourable.”

“Two sides of a coin,” Penny replied. It was easy to try and consider everything from her perspective, to rationalise Loki’s actions from her point of view. However, Loki himself had rationalised that his actions in invading Earth were correct and honourable. In his twisted mindset, invading Earth would have brought equality, not ruin.

“It must be hard for you to try and rationalise concepts such as these,” Loki said.

“Not really,” Penny rebutted quickly, “murder is murder. What you did, what you have done, can’t be rationalised away by some argument.”

“I am not familiar with your system of justice,” Loki replied, “but I was under the impression that to commit a crime such as murder you have to have intention to do so.”

“Invading Earth would count as intention,” Penny said, “well, I suppose it would come under an act of war instead and murder only occurs in the Queen’s Peace, well it does in Britain anyway.”

“You know your justice system then?” Loki inquired, raising an eyebrow.

“I read books,” Penny said, shrugging her shoulders, “it’s why I enjoy working in a library. You have all this knowledge around you, waiting to be discovered between the pages and lines of the books. Hundreds upon hundreds of books all there for you to read. One day I decided to read my way through the legal section on a whim and some of the knowledge sticks.”

“My brother almost destroyed the library of Asgard when he was a child,” Loki remarked, the corner of his mouth twitching, his eyes glazing over slightly as he delved into the memory, “it had been his idea to light a fire to stay warm. I conjured some fire, and mere moments later a shelf had caught fire.”

“That sounds much more like a joint effort to destroy the library,”

“I hold no responsibility for the fire getting out of control,”

“Yeh, right,” Penny joked back, “Mr Magic Man. The fire just decided to grow intelligence and burn the shelves itself?”

“It was fire conjured by magic,” Loki replied, a hint of humour entering his voice, “Such an occurrence could have happened. Although, sadly, the Allfather did not believe our protests.”

“You must have been a right terror as a kid,” Penny said, “charging around and blowing things up.”

“I think my magical skills lie in a much more subtle area than merely ‘blowing things up’, as you so succinctly summarised,” Loki countered with a smirk. The tension between the two of them eased a little. Penny rubbed her bad shoulder absent mindedly, trying to stop its dull ache.

“I almost broke my brother’s telescope,” Penny said, “when I was about ten. I was trying to look at the stars, but failed to take the cap off the end of the telescope. Luckily Danny intervened before I broke one of the focussing dials.”

“Why were you trying to look at the stars?” Loki asked, seemingly genuinely interested.

“Because that’s what Danny did,” Penny replied, lifting her head from her knees and looking up at the stars which sparkled in the dark night sky above, “he would gaze at the stars and tell me stories about each one. It was his dream that one day he would be able to see the nebulas and the galaxies he gazed at so much, you know, up close and in person. On his wall he had a picture of part of the Orion nebula; I think it was called M42 or something. Apparently it was the most active area for new stars to be born. There were these amazing colours that swirled in on each other, gas clouds hundreds of light years wide each holding a couple of thousand stars or something. He said that whenever he looked at the sky, all his other problems seemed so small. It was as if the Universe put everything into perspective again for him.”

“Did you think the same way?”

“Sort of. Danny was fascinated by the science behind it all, the nuclear fusion inside the stars that kept the burning so bright and all the forces that were involved,” Penny continued, “I spent my time imagining different worlds of dragons and magic that orbited those stars, wishing with all my heart to visit them.”

“You would have liked Asgard then,” Loki said, a small thread of passion entering his voice as he glanced at the stars above, “the halls are gilded with gold statues that are higher than your skyscrapers on Earth. There are rivers of the purest crystal water and forests that are thick with trees of the richest brown, with emerald green leaves and a whole multitude of colours like the Bifrost. There are towns and cities all surrounding the main castle, with sweeping high walls and large open windows.”

Loki paused for a moment in his recollection, sighing sadly.

“Can’t you go back?” Penny asked quietly.

“I am a child of two worlds Penelope Robinson,” Loki replied sadly, “and a member of neither. Those gold halls and the crystal rivers are for Asgardians, not a Frost Giant.”

“I’m sorry,”

“I don’t want your sympathy,” Loki snapped, his hands clenching into fists as he stood up suddenly, turning to walk away.”

“I’m not giving you my sympathy,” Penny replied, pushing herself upright and following the demigod, “I’m giving you an apology.”

Loki stopped and turned slowly to face Penny, his face unreadable.

“For thinking I could ever understand you,” Penny continued slowly, worried that Loki might strike out in anger.

“You are much more complex that I originally gave you credit for, Penelope Robinson,” Loki replied quietly, his green eyes boring into her own.

“First,” Penny replied, “you don’t need to keep addressing me like I’m in court. Penny is fine.”

“Penny,” Loki repeated, as if the world was alien on his tongue.

“Secondly,” Penny continued, “you need to man up.”

“Man up? What does that phrase mean?”

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself,” Penny said, “anger doesn’t get you anywhere.”

“And you have just realised this?”

“I spent five years of my life inventing new ways to get revenge,” Penny replied, strength entering her voice along with conviction, “five years I wasted. Grief I could deal with, I could compartmentalise grief. On a day I woke up and realised Danny wasn’t going to be there, I would walk into his room and look at that poster of the Orion nebula until I had to go to work. But the anger stayed, hot and raw like the embers of a fire that would never go out.”

“And now you do not wish for revenge?” Loki questioned.

“I tried that,” Penny said, touching her bad shoulder which was aching a little, “but that didn’t work.”

“Yet you have a look of distrust in your eye,” Loki commented, stepping closer, “like you cannot look at me without feeling disgust.”

“I haven’t forgiven you,” Penny said, shrugging, “maybe I never will. I mean, I can’t absolve you of your crimes, justice demands you pay for them. However, I suspect that whatever judgement awaits for you, from whatever law giver, you’ve put a punishment on yourself worse than anyone could ever concoct.”

“I think you’re trying to make me into something I am not, Penelope,” Loki replied, “you cannot rationalise chaos.”

“Neither can you justify it,” Penny said, “yet why do I think you’re trying to look for justification for your actions?”

Loki paused, his brows narrowing.

“And why would you suggest that I am suffering from such a confliction?” he asked.

“I asked myself that question too,” Penny said, “When you appeared in the café I worked at, the man who I hated more than anyone else in this world. For a moment I had this thought that you were nothing more than a powerful alien, not the entity of evil which I had built you up to be.”

“From your attempts to stab me,” Loki smirked, “I guess such a thought was quickly dispensed again.”

“Well,” Penny replied, “anger won out in the end.”

“And now you are no longer angry?”

“I’m apathetic,” Penny replied.

“Yet you wish for me to walk down a road of justice instead of chaos?” Loki questioned, “yet you try and make me into something I am _not._ ”

“Chaos isn’t evil,” Penny replied, “all I ask is that you don’t kill someone else’s brother and put them through what I went through.”

“I will not promise such a thing,” Loki replied, affronted.

“Thought not,” Penny said shortly, turning away and pulling her hoodie around her.

“Where are you going?” Loki asked as Penny walked across the muddy hillside.

“Bed,” Penny replied, turning back towards Loki, and continuing sarcastically “I mean, it’s not like I have to think far off into the future and all this philosophical talk is making me tired.”

“You’re running away from my answer?” Loki said, “As I refuse to make a promise I cannot keep?”

“I’m hardly running away anywhere,” Penny smirked, “it’s not like I’m a _hostage_ or anything.”

“So why are you civil with me still?” Loki pushed, blinking out of existence behind her and appearing a few feet in front of Penny. Penny yelped in surprise, staggering backwards a few paces.

“What?”

“If you hate the fact that you are my hostage,” Loki replied, “then why have you been civil with me?”

“Has it occurred to you why I didn’t, why I’m currently not following the anger and rage that I’ve been holding out for five _years_?” Penny asked, brushing her hair back behind her ear as she boldly met Loki’s gaze.

“Why?” he asked.

“I gave up fighting,” Penny whispered, a sad smile appearing across her face, “I gave up trying to avenge Danny because I gave up feeling the anger. I mean, if you’re not interested in tomorrow, you’re not going to be interested in what you achieve _today_. I’m just a little, simple human who hasn’t had any human contact for the past two weeks apart from swearing at _you_. The news don’t even give a shit about me anymore, I’m just another name lost to the world.”

Loki paused for a moment, his lips pursed together in thought. Penny pulled her hood around her neck, feeling the water in her hair seeping into her clothes again, making her shiver. The evening breeze continued to blow, rustling the leaves on the trees that lay in the valley below. It’s cold caress kept Penny anchored in her thoughts.

Suddenly, Loki reached out with his hand to Penny’s shoulder, holding it in an iron grip. The world lurched sideways, and Penny screamed loudly as the colours blurred in front of her like she was on a violent rollercoaster ride.

Then it stopped.

Penny collapsed to the floor in shock, her legs wobbly and her head spinning. It took a few seconds for her head to clear and vision to stop shaking.

It took a few more seconds to recognise that she was kneeling on tarmac.

Penny stuttered in shock, eyebrows folding in confusion as she looked around to find herself on the driveway in front of her little house. The plants in the small garden were overgrown, having not been tended to in nearly two weeks, and Penny spied some weeds pushing their way through the small gravel path that led up to the blue front door.

 _Home_.

“Teleportation is not easy on your first try,” Loki said, holding out his hand. Penny stared at the long white fingers for a moment, her brain trying to process what was going on. Slowly, she took the outstretched hand and let Loki pull her to her feet.

“We were on a hill,” Penny said slowly, gesturing to the road around her, “and now we’re in London.”

“A very thoughtful observation,” Loki remarked.

“Ha. Ha,” Penny remarked dryly, as she stared at the road around her. Never had her home felt so precious to her as it did in that moment, the idea of _freedom_ seeping into her consciousness and lifting a huge weight off her shoulders.

“You are free,” Loki said, stepping back from Penny to allow her to stand by herself.

“Why?” Penny questioned.

“You once asked why you were taken hostage,” Loki said, a serious expression passing over his face.

“Yes?” Penny pushed.

“The reason I targeted you was because of your brother,” Loki said, nodding to the dog tags which were hanging around Penny’s neck, safely tucked inside her hoodie.

“You must have had another reason,” Penny asked, “because whilst it is nice and all that you were doing it to return Danny’s tags, you waited five years to do so.”

“I wished to see what my brother saw in Midgard,” Loki said, “why he was so adamant that Midgard was a world to be protected.”

“And kidnapping me would achieve that?” Penny asked, raising an eyebrow, “not exactly conventional.”

“I have been known to break from convention at times,” Loki said, a small smile appearing on his face as he swivelled on the ball of his foot to leave.

“Before you go,” Penny said, just as Loki turned away to leave her, “who was it that you saved?”

“What?”

“When you got that piece of weird alien shit stuck in the side of you,” Penny questioned.

Loki turned around slowly to face Penny.

“It was my brother,” Loki said quietly, “if you must know, in that attack you saw on the news.”

“Well next time you go saving your brother,” Penny remarked, brushing off the fact that the only way Loki could have known about her watching that attack was if he had read her mind, “you’re not having my body to use like some magical conduit to save your arse.”

“Duly noted,” Loki nodded, pausing for a moment and saying;

“And thank you Penny.”

“For what?” Penny replied.

“Showing me why Midgard needs its freedom,” Loki said smiling slightly before turning away and walking into the dim morning light.

Penny watched Loki disappear, walking towards whatever destiny laid in story for him. She didn’t know if Loki truly did care about Midgard, or if he really had chosen her because Danny had given him the dog tags. Part of Penny, the part that could not forgive Loki for his past crimes, reminded her that he was the trickster god, known for his silver tongue and lies.

The sun broke over the horizon, a few rays of light splitting the dark sky night like a knife. Reds and yellow bled into the black like paints running across a canvas, a start of a new day. Penny smiled at the sunrise. With it came a new opportunity to move on, to try and live with her loss and walk forward. She glanced back to where Loki had disappeared from, now just empty air.

He was destined to destroy the universe. Penny was destined simply to be human.

Two opposite destinies, and two opposite roads which led to them. However, Penny hoped that Loki might, one day forgive himself for the crimes he had committed, and face the justice he deserved.

And maybe she too could forgive him.

One day.

 

 


End file.
